You just know

I feel like some of the best conversation comes from just blabbering on with a good friend who doesn't mind when thoughts aren't fully formed and you're not telling a cohesive story. These are the conversations that are most raw and to the core of who we are and what we're thinking. I shared a conversation like this with my buddy John as we walked home from Cleveland Park just now.

Wendy kept coming up in conversation, probably because her coming into my life is the absolute best thing to ever happen to me, and I like to talk about us a lot. My analytical mind goes off on tangents trying to explain how we've gotten where we are, and justifying how quickly things have progressed for us. In the end, I feel pretty strongly that our faith and confidence in our relationship is something that "we just know." We're still growing together, but things are going insanely well and I can't imagine myself without Wendy. It's really great even to share ourselves with each other over 7000 miles away. So I'm chalking our relationship up as a success story. Hehe.

For a while I've wanted to relate to my single friends some truths about how to have things work out, since it was something I wondered about over the years. I'm not any kind of love guru or anything, but I have a few experiences that might be repeatable. I wish there was some kind of formula or guidelines that can help everyone who wants to, to find their Wendy. Maybe that's cheesy or hokey, but I wish everyone could share in this energy.

Relating that you'll just feel something different when "it's right" may not be terribly helpful advice for someone seeking love, so here's something a bit more substantial. Granted, these are mostly general truths about life that have many volumes dedicated to them, but this one is mine . I do want to pay some tribute to Beyond Your Best, an experiential leadership program I was part of in Indianapolis last year. That program helped me learn to love identifying and applying ideas like these to my life.

Know and love yourself first. You've heard this one before. Part of the reason I feel that nobody's really questioned how fast Wendy and I have moved (sometimes I expect it; we've progressed quickly!) is that we're both mature and adaptable, and we know that we're worthy of love and awesomeness. And not just that we're old enough and have had a variety of experiences. We've had experiences and loves and losses that have helped us shape what we know what want in a partner, and these mesh pretty much exactly with each other. We also have considered carefully which of the basic tenets of being with someone are most important (complete openness, mutual and intense attraction, overlapping interests, to name a few of what I'd say we share).

Be open to the path being different than you think. Wendy and I were friends for almost a year before we grew into something more. Once the moment was right for both of us, the energy shifted in an amazing way and one of my best friends became my greatest friend, most loving partner, and the most joyful and interesting match I could hope for. Part of why this happened is because we were both receptive to it, even though it may have looked differently than we both anticipated.

Put it all on the line. Don't be afraid of who you are, what you've done, or what you're thinking. I think great relationships are ones where you're accepted for who you are, even when it's difficult.

Anyhow, I hope it's possible to look past my gushing about the love of my life and get some value out of my blabbering. In the end, I know Wendy and I aren't uniquely equipped for being in love. Anyone can create this for themselves. And they'll just know, too.